I will confess to you now, I may or may not practice what I preach at all times. But (and it's a big one), it is part of my job to advise others on how they can beat anxiety and bring a level of calm to their lives. So listen up, I have a few things to say! With the current state of the world I am surprised many of us can manage going about our daily lives without becoming a crumpled mess. I have my own personal struggles when it comes to managing anxiety and keeping myself calm in certain situations. It has taken me a considerable amount of time to figure out what mechanisms work best for me. You will probably find it takes time for you too. I'm going to offer you 5 ways on how to achieve that stoic, zen like quality we see pictured in wellness magazines and promoted by instagram gurus. Take as much or as little as you need from my advice, it is just that.
Number 1: STOP TRYING SO HARD
Give yourself a break from you.
You'll be surprised how often we add to our own stress because we are unhappy about how we are handling our stress.
What do we achieve by doing this?
We create more stress.
'Self-Compassion' is a term we don't often hear, which is a real shame as it simply means to be kind to yourself.
Start by dropping the expectations you are putting on yourself when it comes to being calm. You do not have to spend hours a day living mindfully and in quiet contemplation.
Allow yourself a 'guilt-free' day every now-and-then and practice self-compassion.
If you're someone who has to fill their day with activities; make getting up a little later something you schedule in, take a little longer to walk to your next appointment or have a midday nap if you're feeling tired and reschedule plans to allow time for yourself.
Give yourself permission to slow down.
A simple thing, telling yourself it's okay and giving yourself permission to slow down...
It seems almost silly how simple it really is. I would counter this by saying it's silly you expect so much of yourself when you are a human being with talents, skills and flaws.
We all succeed and we all mess up at times.
Take it easy on yourself.
Number 2: BREATHE THE WORLD IN
Breath-work can come across a little 'airy-fairy' but I ask you now, how many times have you been in a stressful situation and been told to breathe?
Breathing slowly can helps us regulate our body temperature. Breathing deeply will send extra oxygen to our cells. Breathing rapidly will aid our adrenaline production.
It is noted that human beings are one of the few animals that actively breathe through their mouths, especially at night. Almost all other animal species with lungs breathe through their nose. Specifically within caucasian people, mouth-breathing has been attributed to defective and shallow breaths, meaning the quality of breath (oxygen intake, effective use of our lungs, CO2 conversion) put plainly, sucks. A fantastic way of offering ourselves a little breathing break is to stop what you're doing and actively choose to breathe through our noses. You will most likely find your lungs feel fuller and emptier with each breath. Try this exercise now:
Breath in through the nose as you count ... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.
Hold the breath there and count ... 1... 2... 3... 4.
Release the breath through the nose as you count. ... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.
Bring all of your attention onto you breath. Notice how tight your chest feels, if it's a shallow or deep breath, if it fills your lungs or if you still feel like there is more room. I wonder if you noticed that the air is cold on the in-breath and then warm when your breathe out?
Do this three times and then allow your breath to fall into a natural rhythm. Notice how you automatically feel a little calmer, a little softer and a probably even a little light headed! This practise takes a couple of minutes at most, but used when our stress levels are high or we are feeling overwhelmed it can really make a difference.
Number 3: CREATE A SPACE FOR YOU I had always dreamed of having my own office space that worked for me and clients, and in my old house it was one of our spare rooms coverted into a healing room. In my current house, it is a garden office that I have designed to feel like a little beach hut. I describe it as 33% Beach Hut, 33% Office, 33% Healing Space, 1% Ocean. It is filled with things that make me happy, my surfboard hangs on a gorgeously teal-blue painted wall surrounded by driftwood hangings, pictures of the beach and shelves are filled with oracle cards, candles and crystals. The sofa and chair are sea foam green with fluffy pillows, a variety of plants fill the corners and my desk sits to one side in view of a big window and the garden. It gives me a space away from my house that not only means I can separate my home from my work but that I can retreat to when I need to focus and just need some peace and quiet. MY SPACE, FOR ME. Now yes of course I am incredibly lucky that I have this space, but you can create something for you in as big or small a space as you have available. It could be:
A corner of the living room, with your favourite chair, a good blanket and perhaps a small table with a lamp, where you sit to read, or knit or just have a nap.
A small flower bed or planter in the garden that you've planted out or grown from seed and can spend time tending to each day.
A particular part of your local park. Perhaps a bench, tree or rock that you feel is yours, decorated with a few pebbles or ribbons. (Someone I know ties small ribbons to a tree in their local park and sits there often in the sun when they need some time just for them)
Or it could be like mine and a full room dedicated to your interests, your passions and above all else, your well-being.
Number 4: GO OUTSIDE AND MOVE Yes, that age old advice to get out in nature; touch some grass, remove your shoes and if you really need to, run around and scream into the wind.
We are animals, we should live in harmony and balance with the natural world. Unfortunately human beings have become a little too intelligent for our own good and our advances as a species have often led to us become detached from nature. Being active out in nature, whether by yourself or with others has been proven time and time again to help us manage our stress levels.
There is evidence that ‘forest therapy’ or ‘forest bathing’ (famously known as Shinrin Yoku in Japan) may lead to improved mental health.
This involves spending active time in a forest observing our surroundings, using all of our senses.
Walking or running seems to give us an extra boost when done in natural environments compared to indoors, reducing feelings of anger, fatigue and sadness.
We don’t even need to do it for long! Exercising in green spaces for as little as five minutes has been found to improve moods and feelings of self-esteem. Going outside can simply mean having a potter in the garden, taking the dog for a walk in the local park, or attempting a 10 mile trek across the moors. The choice is yours, but try to factor in something that gets you out and active into your daily routine.
Number 5: BLUE SPACES
You knew this one was coming right? It wouldn't be me writing this if there wasn't something to do with our beautiful blue spaces!
Studies show that those living near water generally report better mental health and wellbeing over those living inland in built up cities. In fact, leading statistics suggest those on the coast are 60% happier than others!
We as human beings feel drawn to bodies of water instinctually. Whether this be because we need water to survive, it is where certain plants and herbs grow, local watering holes mean animals and prey... The list goes on, but what is certain is that it is written into our DNA.
Salty sea air is full of negative ions, is cleaner overall and holds higher concentrations of oxygen which alleviate depression and aid sleep. When walking barefoot on the beach, you allow for the exchange of electrons with the earth. The salt water acting as a conductor and your body, the circuit. If your fancy yourself a swim in the briny blue, immersing yourself in the water on a brisk day can boost your dopamine levels by a staggering 250%, according to a study on cold water therapy. The residual high you receive from this can last up to 4 hours. Being by bodies of water can help shift your mind into ‘relax mode’ and it is suggested that being by the ocean may even change your brain frequency over time. Research supports this, with the sounds of the ocean having a measurable effect on mental wellbeing and helping to reduce stress. Studies have found that the sound of waves relaxed people and animals more than soothing music, with the lowest concentrations of cortisol found in those listening to waves and rippling water. Seaside sounds activate the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing heart rate, lowering blood pressure and relaxing the body, all of which led me to offer Meditation Circles on my local beach. Blue spaces also offer us an opportunity to utilise of the suggestions above and create something truly magical for us.
What ever your do, make sure you do it for you. Spend time experimenting with what works and what doesn't. You will naturally gravitate to certain suggestions more than others. Be kind to yourself and remember to take it easy.
Didn't realise just how much you can get from the sea! great research good vibes all round😀
Beautiful advice.
Simple ideas that really make an enormous difference to your everyday life. Thankyou.